Did Jesus Mean “Pray for Those Who Spitefully Use You” as a Command?

What He Was Actually Exposing

Ask almost any Christian, “Are we supposed to pray for those who spitefully use us?”
The answer comes back instantly. Yes.

And almost without fail, someone is already reaching for the verse.
“Jesus said it in Matthew 5.”

The reference is quoted confidently, usually without hesitation, without context, and without considering where it sits in the story.

Because we assume that quoting Jesus settles the question.
If He said it, we assume it must be something we are meant to do.

That assumption feels faithful.
But it only works if we stop listening halfway through the sermon.

The Assumption We Bring to Jesus’ Words

When Jesus says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who spitefully use you” (Matthew 5:44), we instinctively hear an assignment.

Something to practice.
Something to improve.
Something to feel guilty about when we fail.

So let’s stay consistent and keep playing that game.

Are we supposed to turn the other cheek?
Yes.

Are we supposed to give our cloak also?
Yes.

Are we supposed to go the extra mile?
Yes.

So far, everyone is nodding.

But Jesus does not change subjects.

The Commands We Quietly Reclassify

In the very same sermon, Jesus says:

“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.”
“If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” (Matthew 5:29–30)

Now the room shifts.

No one is lining up for surgery.
No one is building discipleship plans around self-amputation.

Suddenly the language changes.

“Well, that’s metaphorical.”
“He didn’t really mean that literally.”

But here is the problem.

Jesus did not mark which statements were symbolic and which were practical. He delivered them all as one uninterrupted argument.

So Jesus was not offering achievable instructions. He was setting a standard no one could keep, pressing the Law to reveal its limit.

What Jesus Is Actually Exposing

The Sermon on the Mount is not a how-to guide for Christian living. It is a deliberate exposure of human righteousness.

Jesus takes the Law and drives it inward.
From actions to motives.
From behavior to desire.
From what you do to who you are.

Turning the other cheek is not about being polite or passive.
It removes your ability to point to your response and say, “This proves I am righteous.”

Praying for those who spitefully use you is not emotional maturity training.
It removes retaliation and moral superiority as ways to prove yourself righteous before God.

And cutting off a hand exposes the point Jesus is making.

If sin were caused by behavior, then behavior could fix it.
Remove the hand and the problem should disappear.

But it does not.

Because the hand is not the source.
The eye is not the origin.
They only express what already exists within.

Jesus is not offering extreme solutions.
He is proving that righteousness cannot be achieved by controlling actions.

The problem was never behavior.
It was the heart.

The Sermon Was Doing Its Job

Every time we agree with the commands we think we can keep and soften the ones we cannot, we expose the very mindset Jesus was confronting.

The instinct to save ourselves.

Jesus was not handing out achievable commands.
He was collapsing confidence in self-made righteousness.

That is why the sermon ends with this line:

“Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)

That is not inspiration.
That is a dead end.

And it is intentional.

What Changes After the Cross

After the resurrection, the New Testament never reissues the Sermon on the Mount as a standard believers must strive to meet.

Instead, it announces something finished.

You were loved while hostile.
You were forgiven before you asked.
You were made righteous apart from effort.

So now, when a believer prays for someone who spitefully uses them, it is not obedience to earn standing.

It is overflow.

Not to become righteous.
But because righteousness has already been given.

The Question Reframed

So are we supposed to pray for those who spitefully use us?

If you mean, “Is this how we earn God’s approval?”
No.

If you mean, “Does this reveal what God Himself is like?”
Absolutely.

The Sermon on the Mount does not train disciples.
It prepares people to see that righteousness cannot be achieved by effort, restraint, or sincerity.

Once that becomes clear, grace stops sounding optional and is revealed as necessary.